The maid of honor just puked.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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