i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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