I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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