I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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