Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
