i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
