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1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
not ubering you a puppy
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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