Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she told me i tasted like america
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize