Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
