You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
