i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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