Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we made out on top of his cat.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Randomize
