please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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