I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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