i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize