dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
