you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
