remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
