Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
