Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
