We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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