You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
dude. I can hear the air.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
