It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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