I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
