like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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