I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize