No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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