apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
