Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
