Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
