You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
