well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
