So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize