Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
