and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
