you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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