Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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