Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
NoShamevember. You game?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
