It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
