Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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