Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
