How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
