Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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