What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
