I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
