haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
