Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
