I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I forgot how hot balto sounded
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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