A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
