she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
please come you make the beer taste better
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
