actually, I'm a sock model
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My bed smells like the plague
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