You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
