I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
