I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
