you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
