He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
