1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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