i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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