booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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