I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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