their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
