I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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