dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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