tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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