Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
