im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We're too hungover to prance.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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