pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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